Charlie Schmidt – Right so this new geezer or whatever he’s calling himself Alex Connor came and spoke to me and apparently, it’s in my contract that I have to write about the group of morons around here who call themselves wrestlers. I never thought I’d say it but it was easier when Osh was here, sure I didn’t often get paid but at least I didn’t have to do anything! Yeah Yeah Yeah I was meant to do the cleaning but the good thing about the world these day is… Outsourcing! I’ve got 2 little kids from Kazhakstan doing all my work, They have real names but I can’t remember them so I just call them Kaz and Stan.

So with Kaz and Stan doing my work I’ve been able to take time to have a look around do a few favours, one guy in particular has a very bad habit and he’s spending a fortune trying to satisfy his cravings but being the top notch kind of guy I am I won’t reveal who it is, I’ll just say it’s very hard these days to find human body parts, especially the rumps he likes. You could say the bottoms fallen out of that market

Speaking of which I couldn’t help but notice a kid by the name of Chase Durden turn up this past week.. now listen here kiddo you’re new so I’ll go easy on you, but your dad… 5 years ago I lent him $20, now I’m no accountant but I’ve heard of this thing called interest and something about compound interest so I’m gonna say, your old man owe me $2,000 dollars now, so I expect that to be quickly sorted.

I almost feel like I am cut out for management here with Kaz and Stan, but listening to them two moan about the smallest of matters is a joke ‘Oh Mister Charlie Sir I should not have to work 23 hours a day’ … ‘Oh Mister Charlie Sir, I think have gangrene’ all a load of nonsense, but they did have a point with Dan Distoner, he is causing an awful lot of work for my guys, the amount of blood that’s had to be cleaned up this last month, it’s shocking, If I wasn’t secretly bottling up the blood to sell for profit at the blood clinic I’d be a lot more mad than I currently am. Not just that but damage to property! It’s about 7 chairs you’ve smashed up now, each one of them costs money you know, they don’t grow chairs on tree’s!

Get your act together man or you’ll be having a stiff hard conversation with my mop!

Janitor Out

Just remember

You won’t be violated with my broom if you clean your locker room!